I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
