you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
