dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
