there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
