porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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