let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
