Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
