We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Bring me that man meat
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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