Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
