The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
