I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
