i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
