Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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