Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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