what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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