We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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