i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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