So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
