You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
