You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
