She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
