Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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