Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
are you so shy because you have an std?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
