So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I have fence marks all over my body
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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