I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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