puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
