I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
