I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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