Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
