Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
