i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
