Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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