we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I think a kid would responsible me up
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
