Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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