Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
