Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
