She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
