Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Panties = found
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
