Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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