I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Church boner. Awkwardddd
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize