Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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