I've blown a few things in my day
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
