My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
