I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
