we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
