we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
