How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
