We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
