You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize