Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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