wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Let the clothes fall where they may.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
