Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
