Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
