I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
