But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
