I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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