You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
