Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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