I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
