yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
