Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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