Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
