you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
