i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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