I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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