apparently the secret to your success is patron
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
